AUTHOR OF ARCHENEMIES AND PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!

It's Christmas time again! Time for toys and time for cheer and also time for one of my most favorite holiday traditions: Posting and making fun of the original lyrics to Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas...

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS
(with annotations)

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

    (That's not a bad start! A little condescending, but sweet!)

It may be your last!

    (Um. Well that went dark quickly!!!)

Next year we may all be living int he past!

    (That's... Um... I'm not even sure what that means, but it SOUNDS horrible.)

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!
Pop that champagne cork!

    (That's more like it! Festive!)

Next year we may all be living in New York!

    (You have to understand that this song is from the movie Meet Me in St. Louis, and the whole point of that musical is that they might be forced to move to New York and that that would be horrible. Which probably means that the whole "champagne cork" thing from the previous line was meant sarcastically! Well screw you too, St. Louis!)

No good times like the olden days!
Happy golden days of yore!

    (Ahhh! Nostalgia. That's not so bad! See! We're turning a corner.)

Faithful friends who were dear to us,
Will be near to us no more!

    (*sigh* Okay, so apparently this is nostalgia for dead people! You got me again, song! Good job!)

But at least we all will be together...
If the Lord allows!

    (I think this part is saying that the best case scenario is "We're all dead together in Heaven." Best case! And that's ignoring the very real possibility that God might send some of them to Hell! Apparently.)

From now on, we'll have to muddle through somehow!

    (Optimism!)

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now!

 

So to summarize: Enjoy this Christmas, because next year all of our friends will be killed and we'll be transported back in time to Gangs of New York era Manhattan where we'll have to eat rats and drink dirty sewer water to survive!

Or, um, everyone will be dead.

Merry Christmas, everybody!